Image by Sin Amigos. Licensed under creative commons

People have been asking me lately, Molly, what’s up with this taco cleanse thing? I ate a taco once and nothing happened? What’s the big deal?

Don’t give up if you don’t see results right away. Here are some of the most common taco cleansing problems and how to avoid them.

1. You’re not actually eating a taco. Filling + condiments + tortilla = taco, right? Not exactly. There are many taco-like objects out there waiting to trip up the novice taco cleanser. The most common of these is the burrito. You can recognize a burrito by its multiple folded edges (versus a taco’s single fold) and its generally large size. Burritos often require a two-handed hold, whereas the average taco only requires a single hand (which hand you use is up to you).

Lazy Smurf has made a valuable video to help you recognize this important distinction if you need more help distinguishing between tacos and burritos.

Solution: eat a damn taco!

2. You’re not cleansing long enough. At any level below “mild” (one full day of taco meals), you’re unlikely to see any visible changes. You can’t just supplement one taco a month and expect to see big results. You get what you put into the cleanse. See Lazy Smurf’s post about the four levels of taco cleansing for more information.

Solution: eat more tacos!

3. You’re not alive. Taco cleansing is not recommended for zombies or the undead.

Solution: None. There’s no point in trying to live a tacoless existence.